Mark Manson's Unique Philosophy

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu*ck is one of the first books I read that got me into philosophy, and also the first book I finished since reading Tintin with my dad.

Mark Manson has a unique approach to self-help philosophy that put him on the map because he realized that everyone was approaching self-help the completely wrong way. He believes in not trying so hard in every category of life, not giving a fu*k about so many different things, being a contrarian as a path to success, and recognizing that you are always choosing something. There are a lot of valuable lessons and insights he proposes, but those are the ones that stuck with me.

Stop Trying So Hard / Don't Try

Some of the best athletes, musicians, and coders are the ones who don't force anything. They simply enter a flow state, get into rhythm, and perform. The main block for performance isn't thinking or training hard - it's the perceived pressure from peers and the rest of the world. Worrying about what other people are doing and trying to compete with random people are hidden reasons why you fail.

The reason you want to perform is the most important part. I think Anthony Edwards and Cristiano Ronaldo are both great examples.

Edwards has the dog in him. He just wants to hoop and doesn't care what anyone thinks about him. He loves the sport and wants to take on his idol KD, or simply play against the best players. He overcame the childhood loss of his mother and grandmother to cancer at age 13, and was raised by his siblings.

With Cristiano Ronaldo, there is a similar story. He has this massive ego, with interviews where he said he was the best player of all time without proving himself at the level of Maradona or Zidane yet. He thought he was the best, and that's why he became the best. He had this hunger that you can't teach. He was dirt poor. As a struggling 11-year-old at Sporting Lisbon's academy, Cristiano Ronaldo and his teammates often went to a nearby McDonald's late at night asking for leftover burgers because they were hungry and had little money. He had no choice but to succeed because you can't have hunger if you were never starving.

The saying "pressure creates diamonds" is true in essence, but if that pressure is something stupid like trying to prove something to someone or constantly thinking about what people think of you - you are cooked.

If that pressure is survival, legacy, and the raw drive to make a name for yourself, you will perform without trying.

Contrarian

In my latest published book, I mentioned that Mark Manson released a YouTube video that gives you a blueprint for success:

Excerpt from Never Off:

One of the most influential videos I've ever watched was by Mark Manson, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. The video was titled How to Get Ahead of 99% of People (Starting Today). I know, very clickbaity. But it explains why so many successful people are considered delusional.

Being a contrarian means thinking outside the box. It means coming up with an idea that most people would disagree with or frown upon. An example would be starting a dog football league or mixing alcohol with boba. Why are both of those ideas kind of fire though?

Every major successful idea started off as contrarian. Facebook, Apple, and even Airbnb - the idea of sleeping in someone else's house.

Coming up with rogue and stupid ideas isn't hard. Anyone can do that. The hardest part is backing that idea up in public social settings. Actually building a device that allows you to talk to aliens through winking, then backing yourself in a social setting - actually defending your idea and being okay with the judgment that comes with it.

However, just because you have a contrarian idea doesn't mean you will be successful. That's the price of major success. Some ideas will work and some won't. You have to back yourself regardless.

Always Choosing

You have an infinite number of choices to make every day - that's why you are miserable.

Should I get a burrito, tacos, naan, or ramen? Should I go out, watch Netflix, or code? You are always making a choice, and inevitably, you will regret it at some point because you will wonder what would have happened if you had done something else.

Mark Manson uses this approach in a larger sense. Thinking about job offers when you only have one might be beneficial because you aren't constantly worrying if you made the right decision.

This reminds me of "Buridan's donkey," a classic philosophical paradox describing a donkey placed exactly halfway between two identical bales of hay. Because both options are equally attractive and equidistant, the donkey cannot rationally choose one over the other, leading to inaction and ultimately starving to death.

Sometimes a limited number of choices is a good thing. You don't need to evaluate every option. You have to make a choice, be comfortable with it, and live with it. In order to achieve something, you might need to remove a hay bale so you only have one to go to and survive.